Thursday 9 August 2012

A Day Off!

This is an interesting piece. Yesterday was my first day without posting a blog page for over three months! and some days I have posted two...
So what happened?
Some weeks I sit and write three, four, or five blog pages at a time. In an hour  I have enough writing capacity to actually do that much. I may have been jotting down titles and thoughts for the previous few days and then it all comes out at once.
For the last few weeks, since we went on holiday, I have not managed that. It has all happened sitting in bed, on the sofa, bits and pieces here and there. Why? I know the energy hasn't been there in quite the same way. I started to walk on holiday and have tried to keep it up. Two or three days a week, since then, I have managed a five minute walk out of doors. This morning I did a five minute walk followed by a sit down, followed by a five minute walk back home. I had been scared to do that before, thinking I might not be able to get up again after sitting down! (so often in the past I have had to rely on others to get me back home after my body failed to achieve it for me!)
So has this been a bad thing or just the only thing that has kept me going?
On the bad side I have not managed much in the form of yoga exercise. I come to the mat and the longer sessions just don't happen like they used to. I am not managing 45-50 minutes session  every day, just maybe once or twice a week. My hope is that I find a steady rhythm that allows me to have regular daily movement, which isn't punctuated by the breakdown, the crash, the disappointment of exhausted days.
This has me confused and wary. When I started the regular activity, after a couple of months of complete rest, at the beginning of the year I was doing 5 minutes every day, which has slowly built up. I'm trying to piece together where I am, how I'm doing and trying to concentrate on the moment to moment improvements, as well as the month to month improvements.
I think the only solution is to wait and see. If nothing has changed in a few weeks time I will know something is going wrong and might stop walking intermittently and concentrate on finding a better flow, or I might notice that the active yoga has improved and the day to day activity flows between walking and yoga asanas quite well.
This is a confusing situation I've found myself in for the last 24 years. Finding a different way round yet again must be a good thing and using the information I now have at my fingertips to guide that, is a good thing. I am trying to recreate the recoveries that have come before me but doing it in a way that is right for me.
Excuse me if I start missing days, if I find I can start using my head and arms for different things other than thinking about and writing blog posts it will be so nice to start doing them and abandon you instead! Be aware I will not leave you, just take a break now and then and probably have some useful insights to tell when I do return.

No comments:

Post a Comment