Saturday 7 July 2012

My Friends Are Leaving Me In Their Droves!

Yes, find me the tissue box, I am in a sorry state.
All my friends are leaving and I see it as a personal slight.
Only kidding! It is odd though. Two of my most supportive friends are moving away this summer with families in tow- one immediately, one when they can find a house to buy or rent near the new job. It is another lesson to rely on myself first. I have to do that every day; by pacing carefully, saying "no" when my body sends me a symptom as a warning sign, resting regularly and using all the tools consistently to aid my recovery. Support will be there on the end of the phone, in emails and Skype chats, it is just rather difficult to know I can't have a hug or morning in the Coffee shop with them when I need it.
This affliction, illness, condition, is difficult to understand and for years not even the highest medical authorities have understood it (even NICE and WHO continue to create controversy over its classification and guidelines for treatment), so to just find a couple of longterm understanding friends, who could theoretically turn up on the doorstep whenever I needed them and have them suddenly not there, is quite a blow.
The good side to this is how liberating it is. To see people think of themselves first. Just how life should be; you can't help other people out of a burning building if you're personally careless and get stuck without breathing apparatus. So what could I do in my future by taking their motivational lead? Go and live in Canada for 3 years? spend six months on an Indian hillside discovering myself in Zen meditation? become self-sufficient with chickens and a goat in the garden? or even spend the rest of my life writing endless unpublished books and blogs about food, travel, knitting, gardening, yoga and playing piano?
I have to take a joy from what they are achieving; by doing what is right for themselves and their families they are living their life as they choose. With the advantages of modern technology we can have friends across the world and grow from their experiences. For the moment they do seem farther away than I would like, but with my recovery will come the sustained ability to keep in touch, visit regularly and of course we will continue to support and love each other as much as we do now.

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