5pm woke five minutes ago from a dozy, sleepy afternoon, drifting in and out of unconsciousness with The Chamber Of Secrets continuing beside me, keeping me sane.
8.30pm woke at 8pm after more drifting in and out of The Chamber Of Secrets. At 5.30pm I began feeling very strange, mixture of dizziness-without the vertigo, nausea and foggy head syndrome(yes, I just made that one up!) still not feeling great, so sitting in bed, continuing to listen to Stephen Fry and obviously typing! I try not to sleep after 6pm unless something is desperately wrong as I will usually wake by 10pm and then loose my sleep routine for the night. So bed it was and shall be for this evening. Unlike usual I am not watching TV while sitting/lying here or trying to do any reading or knitting.
Next Day
So had a good night's sleep, only punctuated by one of my hot water bottles bursting at about 9.30pm. I was saturated, as was the main sheet and mattress cover. Action stations worked quite well and the bed was half-changed, as was I, within about 10 minutes. I then quickly went online and ordered three new ones from Amazon. They are particularly budget friendly! at this time of year and we always need a stash of spare ones for incidents such as these. (failed last night!)
It is interesting to document a day such as this. In the week of an ME patient, even one who is recovering, there are days of calmness and days of confusion. Yesterday was unusual in that I slept in the evening, but not unheard of. I usually have an afternoon sleep 4-5 days a week, of an hour or up to three hours. Otherwise have an inactive resting morning or afternoon; I'm lucky in that sometimes I can choose if a friend or appointment requires the day to be flipped.
Asking why days like yesterday happen is usually not a good idea. Analysing and questioning such things can be overly exhausting. Maybe I ate something that didn't agree, maybe I slept in an odd position in the afternoon, maybe a yoga pose was too much, maybe I lifted something at the weekend that is just starting to show itself as an unwise move. It could even be something completely beyond my control- likely candidate hay fever, as my eyes are sensitive and my sinuses have been aching too- washing my hair might help and changing the bed clothes again. I am unlikely to know. If I keep listening to my body and follow my best options as well as learning a little bit every week if it feels right, then I will be doing my best. "do your best, leave the rest!"
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Yoga Marathon
I mentioned that it was my intention on Friday morning to attempt a yoga mini-retreat. Yes I intended and I succeeded.
Don't get me wrong. I am not talking about 3 hours of American-style aerobic non-stop yoga, without pause for breath and sweat dripping off me in bucket-loads. This was calm, focused, easy, beginners yoga, with poses and counter-poses, meditations and breathing exercises. As I wrote to my husband in an email at lunchtime Friday; "Completed a three hour yoga marathon! Without one breathless, ouch or creaking moment!"
What really helped me in this was something I learned during the week from a study I was reading, by Dr Nancy Klimas. Dr Klimas runs an ME/CFS treatment clinic in Miami and has completed a lot of research on the subject, at the University of Miami. Her studies have found that the crucial thing about doing activity, and doing too much activity in ME patients is the way that the breathing and heartbeat are working together. As soon as aerobic activity becomes anaerobic activity (which can be in as few as 2-3 minutes) the cells in an ME patient need to search for more energy and start using reserves which simply aren't there. Only by limiting aerobic activity, to that short amount of time and interspersing it with equal amounts of time spent resting, can the cells regenerate energy, without seeing the desperate daily or hourly crashes and exhaustion. Until I see a vast improvement in my energy levels, which will suggest I can last longer in aerobic activity before moving into anaerobic activity, will I let myself get breathless without checking in and slowing down or resting.
This is probably the main reason that so many patients have recovered from ME by practising Yoga and slowly increasing their stability. If you can breathe you can practise Yoga. On a bad day, I know I can lie in bed and practise breathing and also meditate.(that sounds daft-I do know how to breathe!) On better days I can hold poses and stretch my limbs out to encourage flexibility and slowly iron out all those creaks and aching joints that still haunt me. I enjoyed Friday's mini-retreat and until I can make it to a regular class with a hands on instructor to guide me through some of the more complicated poses, I intend to continue as I am with my new accessible technology-wise classes and a friendly Yoga website to answer any questions should I have them.
I have been using these two wonderful websites, with YouTube and iTunes podcast links, and both have answered any questions whenever I have asked
Yogaempowered (link)
And Namaste Yoga (link)
Don't get me wrong. I am not talking about 3 hours of American-style aerobic non-stop yoga, without pause for breath and sweat dripping off me in bucket-loads. This was calm, focused, easy, beginners yoga, with poses and counter-poses, meditations and breathing exercises. As I wrote to my husband in an email at lunchtime Friday; "Completed a three hour yoga marathon! Without one breathless, ouch or creaking moment!"
What really helped me in this was something I learned during the week from a study I was reading, by Dr Nancy Klimas. Dr Klimas runs an ME/CFS treatment clinic in Miami and has completed a lot of research on the subject, at the University of Miami. Her studies have found that the crucial thing about doing activity, and doing too much activity in ME patients is the way that the breathing and heartbeat are working together. As soon as aerobic activity becomes anaerobic activity (which can be in as few as 2-3 minutes) the cells in an ME patient need to search for more energy and start using reserves which simply aren't there. Only by limiting aerobic activity, to that short amount of time and interspersing it with equal amounts of time spent resting, can the cells regenerate energy, without seeing the desperate daily or hourly crashes and exhaustion. Until I see a vast improvement in my energy levels, which will suggest I can last longer in aerobic activity before moving into anaerobic activity, will I let myself get breathless without checking in and slowing down or resting.
This is probably the main reason that so many patients have recovered from ME by practising Yoga and slowly increasing their stability. If you can breathe you can practise Yoga. On a bad day, I know I can lie in bed and practise breathing and also meditate.(that sounds daft-I do know how to breathe!) On better days I can hold poses and stretch my limbs out to encourage flexibility and slowly iron out all those creaks and aching joints that still haunt me. I enjoyed Friday's mini-retreat and until I can make it to a regular class with a hands on instructor to guide me through some of the more complicated poses, I intend to continue as I am with my new accessible technology-wise classes and a friendly Yoga website to answer any questions should I have them.
I have been using these two wonderful websites, with YouTube and iTunes podcast links, and both have answered any questions whenever I have asked
Yogaempowered (link)
And Namaste Yoga (link)
Sunday, 3 June 2012
Crash
This is a stage of the illness which can come and go, but is generally the first initial realisation of having something seriously wrong.
The Crash stage is defined as absolute exhaustion, total and utter desperation for relying on others and no real chance of achieving anything through the day.
The main problem for this stage is that action has to be taken to remove yourself from it. All obligations have to be cleared and bed rest is the answer. Crash leaves muscle aches, headaches, joint pain from slightest movements, possibly even constant nausea and very little energy to eat and digest food and drink- for this reason indigestion is another symptom that will rear it's ugly head.
Bed rest can be boring, tedious, never-ending; leaving a feeling of desperation and through this a glimpse of optimism has to be found somewhere. Acceptance of the situation is the first step- which might take a coupe of days as dips and crashes can be confusing, usually for me a sore throat is the first sign that something isn't quite right. After acceptance come action: sleep, rest, sleep rest!
It is at these times when I keep in touch with the world through TV and radio, newspaper reviews and weather forecasts. Looking forward to particular programmes everyday, but avoiding depressing soaps and films. Chat shows and magazine shows are great for the short attention span needed and I would also watch DVDs of TV series - again looking forward to the next episode as it helped the time pass. I also joined Facebook so that I could become part of daily life and find out what friends were up to just half a mile away. Emails everyday, or when I was able, became a good source of encouragement too.
It may seem like a giving-up option, but when bed rest is needed, for the body to heal this is a good option. By scheduling a sleep every afternoon I had a good indicator of when more activity can be added. As the weeks went by I noticed that less and less sleep was necessary, so I added little activities instead. I bought a few magazines to read, managed a bit of knitting, started searching and reading more about the illness online everyday and this was combined with a little yoga on a daily basis, with meditations and audio books.
If recovery is not monitored with careful pacing or little obstacles appear that are unavoidable like a virus or family situation, crash will happen during recovery. It will be less of a disastrous crash; more of a hiccup, but similar responses are required. Complete bed rest being one and just slipping back to a quieter routine, being another. I know one of the best things for me in these times is to avoid leaving the house, cut myself off from visitors and give myself some space. A couple of phone calls every week and an afternoon sleep every day, keeping my diet healthy and accessible, with a favourite DVD set or book to read is what usually helps me. After a couple of weeks of floating through I feel better able to pick myself up and keep going. Crash (or even just a little dip) requires acceptance and action.
The Crash stage is defined as absolute exhaustion, total and utter desperation for relying on others and no real chance of achieving anything through the day.
The main problem for this stage is that action has to be taken to remove yourself from it. All obligations have to be cleared and bed rest is the answer. Crash leaves muscle aches, headaches, joint pain from slightest movements, possibly even constant nausea and very little energy to eat and digest food and drink- for this reason indigestion is another symptom that will rear it's ugly head.
Bed rest can be boring, tedious, never-ending; leaving a feeling of desperation and through this a glimpse of optimism has to be found somewhere. Acceptance of the situation is the first step- which might take a coupe of days as dips and crashes can be confusing, usually for me a sore throat is the first sign that something isn't quite right. After acceptance come action: sleep, rest, sleep rest!
It is at these times when I keep in touch with the world through TV and radio, newspaper reviews and weather forecasts. Looking forward to particular programmes everyday, but avoiding depressing soaps and films. Chat shows and magazine shows are great for the short attention span needed and I would also watch DVDs of TV series - again looking forward to the next episode as it helped the time pass. I also joined Facebook so that I could become part of daily life and find out what friends were up to just half a mile away. Emails everyday, or when I was able, became a good source of encouragement too.
It may seem like a giving-up option, but when bed rest is needed, for the body to heal this is a good option. By scheduling a sleep every afternoon I had a good indicator of when more activity can be added. As the weeks went by I noticed that less and less sleep was necessary, so I added little activities instead. I bought a few magazines to read, managed a bit of knitting, started searching and reading more about the illness online everyday and this was combined with a little yoga on a daily basis, with meditations and audio books.
If recovery is not monitored with careful pacing or little obstacles appear that are unavoidable like a virus or family situation, crash will happen during recovery. It will be less of a disastrous crash; more of a hiccup, but similar responses are required. Complete bed rest being one and just slipping back to a quieter routine, being another. I know one of the best things for me in these times is to avoid leaving the house, cut myself off from visitors and give myself some space. A couple of phone calls every week and an afternoon sleep every day, keeping my diet healthy and accessible, with a favourite DVD set or book to read is what usually helps me. After a couple of weeks of floating through I feel better able to pick myself up and keep going. Crash (or even just a little dip) requires acceptance and action.
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Banana Wednesdays
They are in the oven. Banana and chocolate chip, oat-flake muffins. Well I needed an easy recipe as I was determined to achieve my Wednesday goal of Muffin Making. The difficulties today are
a. I am still tired thanks partly to the weather,
b. I am hobbling thanks to my hips stiffening this morning for no particular reason that I can remember,
c. Ingredients in the house are not very compatible.- half a packet of chocolate chips, only 2 small over-ripe bananas which I knew had to factor in somewhere but couldn't be held to blame if they didn't give a great deal of flavour, not a lot of flour and I can't cook with nuts as OH can't take them to work (he works in a food manufacturing lab; testing and tasting flavours: NO Nuts or Sesame allowed)
Thanks to getting the ground work done, ingredients on table, scales at the ready, mixer clean and on standby and oven heated with muffin tray organised, I completed in quick time. Less than 15 minutes for the whole job. Banana not particularly well mashed as my arm is also aching and I mightn't get full marks for the mixing of liquids; but a lumpy result in muffins is recommended by some I am sure(?!)
I'm pleased I have done this, an achievement for the day. Some days drag with so little activity- especially with this hotter weather. Sitting with a nice view or audio book has to be done without the mind wandering or frustration and worries taking over, and that can be difficult. 20 minutes of something which will last for the rest of the week is great. Obviously 6 months of recovery will last for the rest of my life, but it is a tough job to remember that sometimes!
a. I am still tired thanks partly to the weather,
b. I am hobbling thanks to my hips stiffening this morning for no particular reason that I can remember,
c. Ingredients in the house are not very compatible.- half a packet of chocolate chips, only 2 small over-ripe bananas which I knew had to factor in somewhere but couldn't be held to blame if they didn't give a great deal of flavour, not a lot of flour and I can't cook with nuts as OH can't take them to work (he works in a food manufacturing lab; testing and tasting flavours: NO Nuts or Sesame allowed)
Thanks to getting the ground work done, ingredients on table, scales at the ready, mixer clean and on standby and oven heated with muffin tray organised, I completed in quick time. Less than 15 minutes for the whole job. Banana not particularly well mashed as my arm is also aching and I mightn't get full marks for the mixing of liquids; but a lumpy result in muffins is recommended by some I am sure(?!)
I'm pleased I have done this, an achievement for the day. Some days drag with so little activity- especially with this hotter weather. Sitting with a nice view or audio book has to be done without the mind wandering or frustration and worries taking over, and that can be difficult. 20 minutes of something which will last for the rest of the week is great. Obviously 6 months of recovery will last for the rest of my life, but it is a tough job to remember that sometimes!
Sunday, 20 May 2012
When making a start is just not possible
I have been there and I know what it is like. Rest is the best friend at times like these. If I needed a week in bed, with the shutters drawn and the hot water bottles on stand by, that is what I did; I spent the week in bed, with the shutters drawn and the hot water bottles on standby. My husband would prepare everything for me in the morning; even have the eggs ready-mixed to go in the microwave for my breakfast; the bread ready sliced for the toaster; a flask full of water for tea or coffee; my lunch on a covered plate, again ready for the microwave; hot water bottles done in the last minutes before he left the house in the morning and on call for a chat if I needed a friendly word of encouragement. I would be sleeping some of the day, watching TV to stop me sleeping the rest of the day and nothing much would be achieved other than making it through to him coming home, re-filling my bottles and preparing my evening meal. He would help me laugh, give me a shoulder if I needed to cry, get it all out of my system for me to tackle another day and another week in a better state or very much the same.
Giving yourself the rest is the best way to prepare for recovery. It can't happen just like that- don't let anyone tell you it can! Finding a calm state and forgetting what is going on in your body is the best way to float on through. Over the years I have had audio books, favourite films- again to make me laugh and cry. Laughter is so important, it lifts the spirits, as does a smile. Relaxing CDs are really helpful too, especially if there is pain. Calming music and sounds can relax the body and help you forget. As I mentioned in Beginning Recovery the resting environment can be so important too. My Mum used to pick fresh flowers every week, I also had artificial flowers in my room. Clean linen on the bed and a regular change of pyjamas. I buy myself fresh bedwear (well for us they are not always nightwear are they!) at least once every six months,or choose them as a Christmas or birthday present. It helps me realise that I am allowed to rest in bed, I am allowed to be comfortable and I am allowed to pamper myself even though only a few distinguished guests will see the result.
Time seemed to be my enemy, but it was not. It gave me rest, stability and it helped me find the right place to search for a solution. By calming my symptoms, time gave me hope and reason to believe and trust in recovery.
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