I am hibernating again. Probably due to last week's Now What? crisis.
Waking up is the most difficult thing. As my eyelids start to fight, (I know it's time to wake up, I'm feeling hungry- they may not quite agree!) my mind realises what is going on. "Oh crikey, one of Those days again. Be positive, stay optimistic, you'll get through, you have before. Why should the rest of the day feel the same as it does now" The problem is that the evidence is there. My limbs are limp. They don't want to move. Getting out of bed is usually an effort, but today is even more so. Without wanting to predict the future and be totally pessimistic a day started like this is unlikely to continue much better. I know if I don't get some kind of routine in before breakfast my day will feel even worse. Usually I have bathroom, dressed, yoga, meditation, breakfast.
This morning to help me out of bed and from the advice of my yoga teacher, I did yoga in bed first. Staying lying down to start with; watching my breathing; then just moving my legs a bit with my breath; sitting up and bending over so my head was lower than my heart and finally stretching out my arms and neck. All with the flow of my breath, so I felt more able to actually remove myself from the bed and get started.
My next thought was to eat breakfast and make it as painless as possible. Muffin, yoghurt and organic decaf coffee (it may not have the kick, but psychologically it tastes the same, so must have the same effect!).
Sitting here at the kitchen table with the iPad and keyboard I am now still feeling limp. My shoulders are slouching, although thanks to all that yoga practice, they are slouching backwards rather than forwards! My neck is having issues with keeping my head upright and my eyelids are still fighting! I have my legs up on another chair, I'm wearing thick socks, other than wearing them and a cardigan I haven't changed out of my pyjamas and have a cushion supporting my lower back. I'm feeling very sorry for myself.
Why am I sitting here rather than in bed? I realise that I must at least prove to myself that I am better than I was 6 months ago. I am typing, that is a big thing. I am sitting in a chair. I am enjoying the view from the kitchen window.
One day this week I will wake up and feel lighter, removing myself from the bed will not be such a hard task and my morning routine will get closer to my ideal. So I need to be kind to myself today, maybe tomorrow, maybe for the rest of the week. Thinking about how long it might last does not help, I have to stay in the moment and fill my time, as much as I can, with comfort- audio books, Pride and Prejudice, Sleepless In Seattle, also knitting and playing patience, if I can. I also intend to ring a couple of friends to fill the time and to hear another voice.- I'm welling up already!
Showing posts with label iPad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label iPad. Show all posts
Monday, 18 June 2012
Saturday, 9 June 2012
Shopping
I love the internet for this reason if nothing else!
I can and do shop for everything on-line. From shoelaces to spaghetti, from lightbulbs to lawnmowers. The funny thing is that when I search and search for something, which I think I should easily pounce on in the local shops, I end up going straight to Google after three weeks of desperation and find it after a few clicks. We dropped a melamine tray last summer, which was intrinsic to my way of life at that time. Eating in bed, on my lap, was the only option. I needed my head, neck and back supported completely and a few thick layers of duvet and blanket over my legs. This tray smashing on the kitchen floor gave us a reason to leave the house. 'Oh, great' I thought,'I can enjoy choosing one from a shelf in a department store, or kitchen shop'. "Oh, no I couldn't"- I could hear the audience chanting back at me, pantomime-style, as we couldn't find suitable alternatives anywhere. After all this excitement of going to a different shopping centre and collapsing in bed week after week, I went back to my favourite stalwart Amazon, and there they were teasing me from the page!
Researching shopping is also a must when finding clothes or shoes as the process can take such a long time and a lot of energy otherwise and I cannot take a long time, or a lot of energy! (neither can my husband's patience!) If I would prefer to try the items before buying, or the postage costs are extortionate, I find the shops, check their stocks and we appear, try and buy, if they are suitable.
I now know the local shopping centres which are accommodating to my needs; good parking facilities, flat pavements or walkways, without cobbles and only slight slopes for using the wheelchair. So always check which town we will visit to achieve the most.
The beauty of me being at home gives me the opportunity to have items sent through the post and returned if necessary. Larger items (most recently the food mixer and a new toaster) which we would otherwise have to balance on the back of the wheelchair, or on my lap, can be delivered without concerns of no one being home to sign for the items.
Food-wise I shop regularly using iPad apps, which give a quicker shop- as if I was in the store. I can usually read full lists of ingredients and also choose most of my shopping from the monthly offers. Some of the more exclusive foods can be found in health-food online shops with supplements and, as with searching out the trays, I might be going in dozens of different shops before finding what I prefer.
Thanks to Google, Amazon, Ebay and many others, my life can be a lot more focused on recovery and careful pacing than it might be otherwise!
I can and do shop for everything on-line. From shoelaces to spaghetti, from lightbulbs to lawnmowers. The funny thing is that when I search and search for something, which I think I should easily pounce on in the local shops, I end up going straight to Google after three weeks of desperation and find it after a few clicks. We dropped a melamine tray last summer, which was intrinsic to my way of life at that time. Eating in bed, on my lap, was the only option. I needed my head, neck and back supported completely and a few thick layers of duvet and blanket over my legs. This tray smashing on the kitchen floor gave us a reason to leave the house. 'Oh, great' I thought,'I can enjoy choosing one from a shelf in a department store, or kitchen shop'. "Oh, no I couldn't"- I could hear the audience chanting back at me, pantomime-style, as we couldn't find suitable alternatives anywhere. After all this excitement of going to a different shopping centre and collapsing in bed week after week, I went back to my favourite stalwart Amazon, and there they were teasing me from the page!
Researching shopping is also a must when finding clothes or shoes as the process can take such a long time and a lot of energy otherwise and I cannot take a long time, or a lot of energy! (neither can my husband's patience!) If I would prefer to try the items before buying, or the postage costs are extortionate, I find the shops, check their stocks and we appear, try and buy, if they are suitable.
I now know the local shopping centres which are accommodating to my needs; good parking facilities, flat pavements or walkways, without cobbles and only slight slopes for using the wheelchair. So always check which town we will visit to achieve the most.
The beauty of me being at home gives me the opportunity to have items sent through the post and returned if necessary. Larger items (most recently the food mixer and a new toaster) which we would otherwise have to balance on the back of the wheelchair, or on my lap, can be delivered without concerns of no one being home to sign for the items.
Food-wise I shop regularly using iPad apps, which give a quicker shop- as if I was in the store. I can usually read full lists of ingredients and also choose most of my shopping from the monthly offers. Some of the more exclusive foods can be found in health-food online shops with supplements and, as with searching out the trays, I might be going in dozens of different shops before finding what I prefer.
Thanks to Google, Amazon, Ebay and many others, my life can be a lot more focused on recovery and careful pacing than it might be otherwise!
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Life's Necessities
The dishwasher is humming and swirling as I sit here with the keyboard and iPad. This is the result of careful planning which we initiated in January. Yes, it had been a bother for my husband to stand and wash-up everyday for the last seven years of our marriage. The worktop in the kitchen was usually piled high by the time the evening came, from the day's cutlery, pans, plates, bowls, as I couldn't help with the clearing very often. As the months went by last year, I was needing more and more care and was able to contribute around the home less and less. Also because of this, my OH was spending more time in the caring role, so fitting in household chores was becoming impossible. I found it difficult to lift washing from the laundry bin and it was unthinkable for me to empty the washing machine of wet laundry, to move it to the ceiling airer. With a small kitchen, no airing cupboard and very little storage elsewhere there was only one solution- remove cupboards and cope! We now have a slimline dishwasher and 7kg tumble dryer and I am ever thankful. A couple more cupboards have been fitted on the wall, and we have managed with slightly less space by putting a couple of baskets on the top of these units.
It is great that we have lived without these for so long; electricity costs, replacement and maintenance prices are ever rising, but I now see this as a necessity and I have moved this into other areas of my life too. Just little things can give me time and space for the more important activities. Brushing my teeth used to be so difficult. I was sitting in bed with the brush and a beaker of water most days as I couldn't stand in front of the sink. I now use an electric toothbrush and find it much easier- the pressure on my arm muscles and joints was becoming excruciating at times, which meant that toothbrushing was no longer a daily activity.
The iPad that I use daily has become my passport to the outside world. I have a Bluetooth keyboard which I use regularly to save my wrists from the strain of using the touch screen. Before tablets entered my world I would sit in front of the computer with my head leaning in my hand, supported by my elbow on the desk. I would type one-handed and within about 20-30 minutes I would also be shivering and suffering from back-pain! I still do this if sitting at a table sometimes- I don't notice it as it is such a familiar pose, but when I do, it is a good indicator that I need to leave, rest and possibly sleep!
Other things that have changed in our lives include having a regular cleaner, again to take the burden from my husband. Little gadgets around the kitchen- the mixer, a better tin opener, for example. It is thanks to tax-payers money-my parents, sister and brother regard it as their taxes!- that I am able to support my life in such a way. Applying for benefits can be soul-destroying as it is an admission of your disabilities, but it has given me the opportunity to live an easier life in the home- and also pay for the private healthcare that will see me eventually recover and start paying my own taxes!
It is great that we have lived without these for so long; electricity costs, replacement and maintenance prices are ever rising, but I now see this as a necessity and I have moved this into other areas of my life too. Just little things can give me time and space for the more important activities. Brushing my teeth used to be so difficult. I was sitting in bed with the brush and a beaker of water most days as I couldn't stand in front of the sink. I now use an electric toothbrush and find it much easier- the pressure on my arm muscles and joints was becoming excruciating at times, which meant that toothbrushing was no longer a daily activity.
The iPad that I use daily has become my passport to the outside world. I have a Bluetooth keyboard which I use regularly to save my wrists from the strain of using the touch screen. Before tablets entered my world I would sit in front of the computer with my head leaning in my hand, supported by my elbow on the desk. I would type one-handed and within about 20-30 minutes I would also be shivering and suffering from back-pain! I still do this if sitting at a table sometimes- I don't notice it as it is such a familiar pose, but when I do, it is a good indicator that I need to leave, rest and possibly sleep!
Other things that have changed in our lives include having a regular cleaner, again to take the burden from my husband. Little gadgets around the kitchen- the mixer, a better tin opener, for example. It is thanks to tax-payers money-my parents, sister and brother regard it as their taxes!- that I am able to support my life in such a way. Applying for benefits can be soul-destroying as it is an admission of your disabilities, but it has given me the opportunity to live an easier life in the home- and also pay for the private healthcare that will see me eventually recover and start paying my own taxes!
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