Up To Date

I've been doing quite well, trying to spend less time in front of the iPad. (hence the fewer posts!) I've started moving my social life slightly away from the online network and am seeing a few friends from Church once a week. Knitting club is becoming easier to manage too. Once a month we meet up and I have managed three out of the last four months. Considering I did one in the previous twelve months, that's pretty good going. A friend is also coming round with her son once a week after school, which is a great way to start seeing people regularly again and keep in touch with those who really matter. It is amazing, and for some people totally incomprehensible  that sitting with people, even really close friends, and chatting, even listening to others' noise can be quite exhausting. You'll probably remember the sensation from when you have a headache or the flu coming on, but this can be constant and needs understanding from others, or complete avoidance!
With the colder weather I am indoors more, can't really sit in the garden when it's pouring with rain or blowing a gale! But it is really cosy in our sitting room with the multi-fuel burner roaring away. We have also achieved our promise of buying a new sofa and chairs at the end of this summer. So I can actually sit in front of the fire in comfort. A couple of times every week I am managing a short walk too. Which I am really enjoying. There is a river in our town and I am five minutes from a bench in a very quiet location where I can sit and watch the river wildlife enjoying its day too.
 After my seizure a couple of weeks ago I have had a metaphorical slap in the face. Before then, for about 15 years, my seizures were all during the night, or at least when I was asleep in bed (with the ME that was sometimes a daytime option!) So I have got out my silver talisman bracelet, which contains my medication information, next of kin, phone numbers, home address, all written on a slip of paper and folded into it. Paramedics and first aiders are trained to look for it. I have attached it to my keys as I know I won't leave the house without them and am unlikely to wear my talisman bracelet every day around the house (it is rather heavy and uncomfortable)
So as mentioned in the previous post I have reached the 6 month date since starting The Gupta Programme. This is quite a milestone for me as I realise how far I still have to go, but looking back I also realise how much I have recovered since starting. The other tools which are still helping me are reassuring. And I know I have private coaches to guide me if I find any times particularly difficult.  These last couple of weeks have been difficult, but I'm managing on my own. I'm staving off a cold and doing very little physically. Knowing that I have to give my body time to fight this virus helps me get through. Pushing through it is likely to push me backwards, as I have mentioned before in my blog, I have to sit down on the rung of the ladder and look at the view for a while, so I don't start falling off it again.

When Will I Be Walking Again?

A friend asked me this question recently and I was kind of flummoxed as I don't see it as a priority. The one thing that might push that part of my recovery is that it is my husband who pushes the wheelchair when we go shopping, or even for a short 'walk'(!). I would like to stop using the wheelchair and have more control when I leave the house, but as I say it is not a priority.
I am using my legs around the house, but if I use a pedometer to count my steps during the day, I am still only doing 800-1400 over 24 hours. This needs to increase and I need to lengthen my standing times between rests, before I can walk for anything more than a couple of minutes outside.
My physical energy is used in so many ways. If I was to still ask someone else to continue the cooking, someone to carry me into the garden if I wanted to sit in the shade on a sunny day, maybe also fetch and carry items around the house at my beck and call, then I might be walking 500 yards every day. I use energy in so many ways; when eating, getting dressed, making scrambled egg or a frozen, pre-chopped vegetable based curry! Also when filling my day with time passing activities; knitting, playing patience, doing jigsaws, reading, writing. The one thing I must mention is that energy is needed in this time to heal the body too. De-conditioned muscle needs time and energy to heal, more than a daily night's sleep will give.
Also my legs need practice walking. I am stretching my hamstrings in yoga, in putting a couple of plates in the dishwasher. My hip joints stiffen at the slightest weight bearing and more than a couple of minutes standing still. My yoga exercises are important, by sitting cross-legged, bearing my own body weight and stretching the spine.
Moving around the house will increase as the days, weeks and months go by. When this is nearer normal, or acceptable levels I will start to move about outside. I have had too many experiences over the years of walking around outside only to come home and collapse in an exhausted heap. During these times I have relied so much on others for day-to-day living needs. I am searching for a life where I can function inside and out of the house. Showing others that I can use my legs is not a priority; my priority is feeding myself, washing myself, dressing myself, enjoying hobbies and daily life. Once I have achieved that, I will encourage the outside world to enter into my life again and I will start to explore the one hobby I do still crave; going for quiet, peaceful, adventure-filled walks. (Oxymoron intended!)