Yoga

Yoga has been a very important part of my recovery. For the last 5 months I have been practising Yoga consistently. I thought it was beyond me, firstly because I can't and never have been able to do head stands, and secondly because I knew I could never get to a class or last the full hour most of these classes offer.
Yoga was mentioned in a few recovery stories I read six months ago and that made me sure that it had to be part of my life. I found a few nearby teachers and asked if they would come to me for weekly, short, lessons. One agreed and it worked. The first lesson was exhausting; we did about 20 minutes of sitting, kneeling and lying poses and finished in the lying relaxation pose. I was in tears before we finished as it was so overwhelming and shattering. I'm not sure I would have continued if I hadn't given her enough money for two weeks, so was committed to the next lesson. By needing a three day long recovery from just twenty minutes I was limited to practising twice a week, once with the teacher. I began to research the poses we had been doing, mostly online. A couple of magazines helped with that too and also told me that I wasn't just a beginner, I was and unfit, un-supple, almost totally incapable beginner! So I continued like this for about 5 weeks, 15 minute sessions once or twice a week with dramatic exhaustion but a much better understanding of the focus and discipline that yoga required. To entrench that discipline I changed my plan. One book I read about a recovered ME patient had described a very simple yoga structure. 5 minutes daily with a slow build up as the months went by. This was my new plan. Every morning I entered the day with yoga. To begin with I was following my breath and moving my neck, getting on all fours and stretching my spine, then lying on my back, twisting my legs back and forth, before lying in the relaxation 'corpse' pose for 5 minutes. So each morning pretty much 5 minutes of poses followed by 5 minutes of relaxation was all I could manage, but it was bearable and didn't have such dramatic consequences. As the weeks went by I increased the time to 6, 7 and then 9 minutes. Then 12 minutes and now I do about 15-20 minutes depending on how I feel and some days I just do the original 5 minute routine, or just stretch my neck.
The amazing thing is that this life-style has reached into my day. I think about my breath as I am sitting here typing, I bend over to the fridge and feel my lower back gently elongating as my exhale matches my movement. When I began yoga in January I knew I wasn't going to do it half-heartedly and although I was kind of disappointed at how inflexible I was, I am pleased I have done the right thing; stuck with it and found something to increase my activity levels at my pace and as I choose.
A quick note should be added- I completed my first standing poses last week -forward bend and warrior. When attempted before they have given me a lot of hip and lower back pain-not to mention dizziness! I've done it now and will continue to practise them. I know they will help with my determination to regularly walk again outside. One step at a time!

When making a start is just not possible

I have been there and I know what it is like. Rest is the best friend at times like these. If I needed a week in bed, with the shutters drawn and the hot water bottles on stand by, that is what I did; I spent the week in bed, with the shutters drawn and the hot water bottles on standby. My husband would prepare everything for me in the morning; even have the eggs ready-mixed to go in the microwave for my breakfast; the bread ready sliced for the toaster; a flask full of water for tea or coffee; my lunch on a covered plate, again ready for the microwave; hot water bottles done in the last minutes before he left the house in the morning and on call for a chat if I needed a friendly word of encouragement. I would be sleeping some of the day, watching TV to stop me sleeping the rest of the day and nothing much would be achieved other than making it through to him coming home, re-filling my bottles and preparing my evening meal. He would help me laugh, give me a shoulder if I needed to cry, get it all out of my system for me to tackle another day and another week in a better state or very much the same.
Giving yourself the rest is the best way to prepare for recovery. It can't happen just like that- don't let anyone tell you it can! Finding a calm state and forgetting what is going on in your body is the best way to float on through. Over the years I have had audio books, favourite films- again to make me laugh and cry. Laughter is so important, it lifts the spirits, as does a smile. Relaxing CDs are really helpful too, especially if there is pain. Calming music and sounds can relax the body and help you forget. As I mentioned in Beginning Recovery the resting environment can be so important too. My Mum used to pick fresh flowers every week, I also had artificial flowers in my room. Clean linen on the bed and a regular change of pyjamas. I buy myself fresh bedwear (well for us they are not always nightwear are they!) at least once every six months,or choose them as a Christmas or birthday present. It helps me realise that I am allowed to rest in bed, I am allowed to be comfortable and I am allowed to pamper myself even though only a few distinguished guests will see the result.
Time seemed to be my enemy, but it was not. It gave me rest, stability and it helped me find the right place to search for a solution. By calming my symptoms, time gave me hope and reason to believe and trust in recovery.